Shubham and her parents are really nice people. We began pre-dinner with a conversation on how our cultures show respect. I asked them how they would say, “thank you” in Hindi to their mother for bringing the food, and they said that they just don’t do that, that respect is shown through bowing or facial expressions. I’m sure they thought my “thank you’s” were gratuitous, but I explained that they are how we show respect in our culture.
The food was awesome (as it is nearly everywhere). The father explained that he had asked his wife to prepare something a little more “routine,” but that she had refused since a guest was coming. Normally they would have far fewer dishes. One of the more interesting items was a mint chutney that is supposed to aid in digestion. Tasty.
Shubham’s father was nervous about speaking with me, embarrassed that his English wasn’t very good. It wasn’t too bad. But I think my experience in Latin America has really helped me to use body language and partial sentences to put together what people are saying. We discussed many things (the men do dominate the conversations in family settings…something to do with the power position in the family), from “how kids are growing up these days,” to the shrinking water table in India, and even gave our opinions of the best and worst parts of our respective countries. By the end of the evening (11:30pm on a school night), he even admitted that he had been angry with his wife and daughter at first for inviting me without asking him-he thought that I would judge their modest housing and lifestyle as a bad thing. He then said that he was glad that he was wrong and that I was “good people.” A nice way to end the evening.
We all ate on the floor, and it was nice. We spent the last hour of the evening out on their large patio of their Air Force quarters. Her father told me really nice story and piece of Indian culture (although I can’t say if everyone in India does this). He said that when children are born, they use a very special golden pencil that is dipped in a drop of honey, and they draw a symbol on the newborn’s tounge. The symbol is the sound “Ohm,” used in Yoga and Buddhism. It’s Hindi spelling is a religious symbol, much like the cross in Christianity, and it is a small symbol-just two letters. He was slightly emotional when he described doing this for his newborn son some years back. I thought it was a nice story.
Awesome post.